Jabberwocky
by Garret pi
Summary: This is a story about a hero. This is also the story of what happens when fate decides to completely scrap everyone's master plans and throws a massive monkey wrench into the works. Everyone else seems to end up with magic swords, fans, staves, monkeys, weasels, toads, hickeys, dogs, masks, rings, jugs, bottles, puppets, and even teapots. Well, Naruto has just gotten... lucky?


A start.

The moon glowed a somber and heavy yellow, high in the ebon sky. The moonlight shafted down, outlined faintly in a light fog which hung over the nearby lake, reflecting it and the shadows of the hills and forests.

A solitary deer, its head down, drinking from a stream, suddenly startled. In a moment its head snapped up, ears twitched as though searching for a sound not yet heard, eyes glowing wide and alert in the moonlight.

A vast footfall shook the forest and a flock of water birds took flight in response, flying away.

It was an omen.

Another vast footfall was heard, trees and rock splintering under its thunderous power

 **これ** **は** **英雄** **の物語**

 **This is a story about a hero.**

In the village of the Hidden leaf, soft yellow electric lights glowed and shimmered warmly from the many buildings and street lamps, illuminating the night and the people still up and about at the late hour, the sun long ago having set and the deep of the night in its fullness laying thick on the land.

A huge splash of water followed, and was in turn followed by an animal roar, a primal howl of inhuman rage that felt as though it were a tangible thing even as the air it moved plastered skin to clothes in fearsweat and blasted leaves from nearby trees for hundreds of yards.

 **A hero who saved the Hidden Leaf Village from an attack by a vicious beast.**

People, civilians of the village and seasoned shinobi alike, were torn from their tasks and sorted dealings by an urgency that came with the roar. All turned toward the source of the unearthly sounds…and looked up, and up again. Outside the village walls, they could see it. Huge eyes stared down balefully, eyes red as sunset flame and burning with malice. A huge bestial shadow in the moonlight towered over the village, Nine vast tails arrayed out behind the beast as it raised its vulpine muzzle to the stars and yelled out. Massive massive claws raised to the sky as though to tear the moon from its place.

Some of the towns people ran, others stood paralyzed in fear, and still others slowly backed away with mouths open, their jaws shaking in fear even before the first wave of suffocating malevolence washed over them. Fear sounds were in every throat, but strangled as if weighted down. Some of the stronger willed drew weapons defiantly, pitiful though their owners knew the act to be, for what could a dagger or sword do against such elemental power.

A rumbling growl was heard from the night shadow. A snarling smile from a maw filled with far too many teeth that were far too sharp glowed in the night.

A huge ear twitched as the Fox demon moved forward.

"It's the Kyuubi!" was the shout, a warning and a proclamation.

A great front paw, more humanlike than animal, but with claws and fur, lashed down. It was huge, easily ten times the width of the village walls at which it struck, and fearsome in its power.

The wall, meant to withstand massive assaults from neighboring ninja nations, crumbled like chalk, the impact and the shockwave that followed toppled nearby buildings, threw debris for hundreds of yards, shattered glass, and sent even some of the strongest of ninjas tumbling like broken toys in a gale storm.

A second claw followed the first, striking deeper into the Villages heart, shattering buildings, lives, and hopes as the Kyuubi entered the Hidden leaf like an earthquake. It strode moved forward inexorably; A doom as sure as any typhoon or tsunami, a living breathing force of nature, a disaster incarnate.

 **Who truly risked his life defending the village…**

On the far side of the town, standing upon the great Hokage monument, a figure with pale golden hair appeared. The man's white long jacket adorned with red flames along the hem, flames turned black by the night, and the symbols upon his back reading 四代目火影 upon his back.

Minato Namikaze stood and faced the Kyuubi, plans of attack racing through his head.

Likewise, as though somehow able to sense the man and his threat over the distance, the Kyuubi turned, its eyes narrowing, it's muzzle pulling back from its already bared teeth. The jaws were pulled into what was an unmistakable rictus of even greater hatred and anger than before.

 **A noble man with a burning will of fire.**

Minato returned the glare with a look of calm strength as he gathered his will and power about himself.

"Did you notice me?", he asked the Kyuubi.

The Kyuubi stopped, growled deep in its throat and reared back and up, standing tall. Its rear feet planting themselves firmly in the midst of the devastation it had created in the village, grinding down buildings and flesh alike.

Nine tails curved up and pointed high at a point above the massive beast, and a rent in the sky seemed to form. Unnatural power streamed from the Nine Tails, filling the spot above it with an unnatural red and black radiance which glowed brighter and hotter by the second. Bricks, lumber, and even a former dango shop, torn from the ground, tumbled through the air as the energies gathered and took the shape of a sphere. Tons upon tons of debris were also sucked off the ground in a swirling maelstrom and up, into the swirling mass, evaporating into the plasma bright light.

The sphere grew, brightened still from red, to orange, to yellow, and seethed, and then started to condense. It became darker and darker still, then utterly black as it collapsed inward. In seconds it seemed to suck in light itself with its density. Only then did it fall suddenly, ending up grasped tight in the mouth of the Kyuubi.

With a hideous gulp the huge nine tailed fox consumed the dark energy.

Minoto knew what came next, the roar and the great destructive blast that would follow.

The Forth Hokage held out his hand, summoning one of his tri-pointed Kunai and began the time space jutsu that had made him so feared. His hands and the kunai glowed blue green.

Minoto spoke once more while marshaling his power, "I won't let you destroy this." And adjusted the way the jutsu would complete itself.

The Kyuubi's mouth opened, light blasted from its maw as the ball of destruction was spat toward the Hokage monument and the hokage perched upon it.

Many looking up from their retreat and felt certain that the end had come for them all. If the huge energy blast struck, the explosion it would create would easily wipe out half or more of the village, and kill thousands of people.

They were wrong.

Minato stood firm.

The ball flew like a miniature sun, seemingly unstoppable, an incarnate doom as sure as any death god.

Only no death came. The Energy ball slammed to a stop a scant few yards from the forth Hokage, running into what appeared to be an invisible wall of force, and making a sound like glass on steel.

The Ball hung there as huge ropes of lambant, blue symbols flickered into being and swirled about it. The glowing letters started contracting around it like a net and a vast portal of blackness opened before the sphere, sucking it in. Far off, a companion portal, anchored to another of the Hokages seal covered weapons, opened, preparing to shunt the destructive energies away from the village.

"With this much power. I've got to carefully chose where I redirect this—"

Behind the Hokage, a dark figure came forth from the stone wall. The figure wore a black hooded cloak with a swirled mask which exposed only a single eye. The figure seemed to chuckle to itself as it lifted an arm. A pale white hand reached forward toward the Hokages back, and a dimension distorting energy built behind the mask and lashed out.

 **But sometimes things happen out of order, or just a moment too early.**

Minato's eyes narrowed, sensing the attack just as it began, and he met it, like a ninja. His kunai slashed across and through the masked face as he ducked down, evading the warped energies.

And the swirling distortion flew over him, right into the back of the still open portal, twisting the time space jutsu as it was still sucking in the kyuubi energy. And that was the first thing that went wrong.

And yes, things went wrong… very wrong.

 **And yes… sometimes fate is very cruel indeed… and she laughs at heroes and villains alike. Sometimes fate has her own plans.**

The entrance portal started to collapse, as did the exit portal. And all that energy had to go somewhere.

The dark figure, screamed, as raw chakra was wrenched out of his eye to help fuel horrible time space vortex that was forming behind the forth hokage. He tore himself away even as the Forth turned back, his own eyes widening in alarm and he slammed his Kunai into the gap.

"No!" Minato shouted, and wrenched his hand forward and around, grabbing the vortex in a grip of hastily improvised fuinjutsu and vanishing in a golden flash.

That was the second thing that went wrong. Pulling a twisted and collapsing time space jutsu through yet another imperfect time space jutsu. Cracks started to form.

He reappeared a distance away, pulled there by the anchor of yet another of his special seal covered kunai, one of his more favored training grounds. The swirling vortex appeared behind him in tow, growled angrily with a sound like massive boulders grinding together. He'd felt the exit vortex slamming shut, the Kyuubi's energy rebounding and seeking some way to spend itself.

"Oh, Kami, it's going to come out here. I only hope that this is far enough away from the village." Minato thought to himself.

"I am your opponent. "a cold voice said.

The masked figure had followed him, only to continue after a dramatic pause.

"And you're done for, Hokage."

Minato could feel the blast coming, and coming fast, he whirled around and pointed.

"Yeah?, well I know something you don't, Mask-san"

The figure paused and then asked, amused "You do? What?"

The response had appealed to Minato's sense of humor and irony.

He tore the vortex from where it was and pointed it… facing the portal toward the masked man.

"You're in the path of my cannon."

The masked man sweatdropped, hard, staring into a swirling maw of destruction.

Minato poked his head and shoulders around the swirling blackness and gave the figure a jaunty wave and an eye smile.

"Ja ne! Bye bye!"

The exposed eye widened as he saw the blinding light heading his way.

"NO!", he screamed

The blast started to exit.

A sharingan whirled frantically.

Distortion streamed,

Time and space looped, again for a third time, and it was too much.

Dimensional walls cracked.

The third time was the charm as far as things going wrong were concerned.

Reality threw its hands up in a "Okay, fuck this! I'm out of here!" manner.

The colliding forces met with the strangest sound.

"Snicker-snack"

And unearthly energies rocketed into the sky, and…

Poof.

Nothing.

The two master ninjas turned and looked at each other, thoroughly nonplussed.

"…"

"…"

"Uhhh?"

"Ummm, what?"

"..."

"Yeah, I know… that's really kinda anticlimactic."

"Yeah… where's the earth shattering kaboom?"

"I know, right?"

"…"

"…"

A foot scuffed at the ground, kicking a pebble to one side.

"Ummm."

"Sooo…"

"Yeah...I mean I had a whole speech planned out for this and everything, you know? All that drama, ruined."

"Um, about that….A ninja who has the power to control the Nine tails, and can slip in and out of the Hidden Leaf Village….As far as I know there's only one person who fits that description…Don't tell me… Are you Madara Uchiha?" Minato asked.

Minato wasn't sure, but he was reasonably certain the other ninja just rolled his eyes, or eye, at him.

"You just told me not to tell you! What do you think?"

"Fair point. So… Fight?"

"Yeah, let's!"

 **And stories change, just a little ….at least it starts with a little…at first.**

Far above, just a bit off to the left, the massive and seething energies consumed space and time in a horrible twisting and tearing way. Elemental Power and raw forces spent themselves in a massive detonation. But, having dropped slightly out of phase with space, time, and dimensions in general, the blast went completely unnoticed and invisible to the people and things that had invoked it. Instead it created great holes and knots in realities and the dimensional fabric.

Some time later, while a certain toe-headed baby was busy having a giant Nine Tailed Fox demon sealed its belly button region, a relatively small tear in reality popped open and then closed from the final rebounding backlashes still echoing in space time, and a few somethings came through.

The main something wasn't big.

It was only a few inches wide, a couple inches thick, and a few feet long.

It was a sword.

It didn't look like much… but it was a magical sword.

It was a very magical sword indeed.

"WAHOO! Thank you lady luck! Free! " a disembodied voice shouted.

The sword fell rather quickly from the sky… swords tend to do that when they appear in midair.

Even most magical swords are not generally well known for their antigravitational or aerodynamic lift generating capabilities.

The sword either didn't notice it was falling, or didn't seem to care. It did however sound rather happy at the moment, so it had that going for it.

"Free! Free at last! Now, to just find some suck… err wielder and I'll.."

Snicker snack… kthunk

The sword had landed point down, into something.

"…"

Unfortunately the "something" had turned out to be a rather large, sunken boulder. The sword was now sunk into stone right up to the hilt.

This sword was apparently very good at cutting things.

"Well…" The sword said, and an observer might quickly form the opinion that it would, if it had the right equipment, be pinching the bridge of its nose between thumb and forefinger with eyes closed in exasperation. "Now... isn't that just fucking typical?"

It knew what being a magical sword stuck in a sword meant.

"Well, I think I'll just sit here and wait for the next shoe to-"

The other things from the rent fell around it. Along with a bag.

The dimensional rent closed with a sound like snapping static electricity.

"Right! Well, at least you didn't lose my luggage this time!" The sword shouted at the sky, or perhaps the universe in general, metaphorically shaking a fist at it.

It grumbled and it waited.

Years went by.

Somewhere around twelve years passed.

That's when things got interesting.

That's when it happened.

A male voice, late twenties or early thirties. "A thousand years of pain!"

"YOWCH!"

This one sounded like a young or adolescent male child.

Thumpa thump thumpa thumpa…

WHOMP

CRACK!

Blood?

"Oh Kami!" The older male again

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh my god! Training session ending now! Sasuke-kun, Hospital! Now! Emergency medical assistance needed!"

"Kakeshi, sensei! What hap-", a young female.

"He fell wrong, tried to roll with it but he hit something with the back of his head I heard bone breaking. Oh Kami… Minato. Move it Sasuke, don't just stand there, GO!...Don't you worry, Naruto-kun. You hang in there kiddo! Help is coming. You hang on! "

"Sensei, he's… he's bleeding, he's bleeding bad. Is that a hole in his sk.… Oh…I… I think I'm going to be.."

"Sakura! STOP!" the voice snapped. "Pull it together, genin! Did you bring an academy first aid kit with you like you're supposed to?... good! Now do what I say. I want the following…"

Voices faded.

Blood is powerful stuff. Particularly when a magical sword is involved.

"Well now, this is interesting. Let's see what we have here?"

It probed through the blood covering its hilt, and went very very deep indeed.

Minutes ticked by as frantic actions occurred and the vessel/child was taken away.

"Well, well, well...", the sword mused silently, intrigued by what it had found. "Now THAT, was unexpected. I think what we have here… is the proverbial diamond in the rough. I've certainly worked with far worse."

The blood covering the pommel of the sword began to disappear as though soaking into the metal.

Fate rubbed her hands together gleefully and smirked.


End file.
